Thinking of You, A Songfic
by neverforgetlove
Summary: This is my very first fanfiction, so please be gentle!  This is about Rose preparing to marry and her reflections back on Jack and what he still means to her-rated T for some implied content.  Set to Katy Perry's "Thinking of You."  I own nothing!


_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed_

Every day she missed him. She could still see those gorgeous blue eyes laughing into hers when she went to bed at night. She could feel her heart pounding as he drew her closer to dance. And she had the taste of him on her tongue…no wonder it always took her forever to fall asleep. He was her life, her love, her everything. And he was gone.

_You said move on, where do I go?  
I guess second best is all I will know_

The part that hurt the most was knowing that he knew he was going to die. For her. And realizing that if she had made him promise the same thing to her, he would still be there. Yes, he had made her promise to move on, to continue with her life, but she didn't have to like it. And now she was getting married-to another man. A man who, though sweet, was not her Jack.

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you  
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)  
Thinking of you, what you would do  
If you were the one who was spending the night  
(Spending the night, spending the night)  
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes  
_

She looked into the mirror as she fixed her hair and imagined how it would feel to be marrying Jack. How he would smile, love in his eyes, when she met him at the end of the aisle. How his lips would feel against hers when they met for the first time as man and wife. And how his hand would feel in hers as he led her away-where to wouldn't matter. She would go anywhere with him and be happy as a princess or as a pauper. And, since it was her wedding day, she allowed herself the pleasure of remembering what it was like to be with Jack-memories she usually kept locked up for fear of causing more pain.

_You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy with a surprise center  
How do I get better once I've had the best?  
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test  
_

With hindsight, she still couldn't decide what it was about Jack that she loved the most. His ability to see others, including herself, was obviously at the top of the list. No one had ever bothered to get to know the soul behind the beauty before him. She also loved his carefree spirit-oh, how she wished they had had more time to be carefree together! His refreshing honesty, his laugh, his…she berated herself. Yes, living in the past made her feel better temporarily, but only would cause more pain in the long run. Her husband-to-be was not Jack, nor could she expect him to be.

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!  
(Taste your mouth)  
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself  
_

John was…an average man, she supposed. Attractive, but not handsome, slender, but not skinny…he did love her, in the way that most people are satisfied to find in their lives. But she had known a stronger love, a truer love, one that most people never find. And though she did care about John, she did not love him-could not love another man-the way she loved Jack. John didn't notice (or perhaps tried to block it out) how she always closed her eyes when they were intimate. She couldn't stand to see another man there instead of Jack.

_You're the best, and yes, I do regret  
How I could let myself let you go  
Now, now the lesson's learned  
I touched it, I was burned  
Oh, I think you should know!  
_

Her final preparations for the wedding complete, she entered the church and took a deep breath. Jack was with her; she could feel it. She could see him in her mind's eye, smiling in approval. This had been his final wish for her, and it was this thought more than anything that sustained her as she took those fateful steps down the aisle. She would "make lots of babies" and "watch them grow" and, someday, "die an old lady, warm in her bed" because that was what she had promised him. She only prayed John would think that her tears were of joy as the minister went through with the ceremony.

_Oh, won't you walk through?  
And bust in the door and take me away?  
Oh, no more mistakes  
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay_

Suddenly, Jack was in her mind's eye, more vividly than before. "Rose…I love you. You're beautiful, and strong, and I would do anything to be him right now. You're keeping your promise, and I just want to say…thank you. And I'm always with you; always." Tears streamed down her face as she heard, "You may kiss the bride."


End file.
